I had a psychologist appointment tonight, after a busy day at work, so of course I’m exhausted and can barely string a sentence together, let alone spell the words that are supposed to go in the sentence. Honestly, after a psych appointment I generally feel as though I could sleep for a week.
It came up again, though: I excel at analysis and intellectualism, and struggle with emotion. Understanding what’s gone on, and my responses, is great – but I also need to feel what’s going on. I need to be willing to feel what I feel: the hurt, the anger, the grief and fear and shame. Intellectualising and understanding won’t stop the emotions: it’s the equivalent of trying to fend off a wall of water by battering at it with a dictionary.
I can’t fight a wave of emotion that has the power to overwhelm me. I can only ride it.
I don’t need a dictionary. I need floaties.